Sniffing up my muculent nose, clearing up my throat in a tuberculotic fashion, after days of coaxing myself, I have decided to update my blog before my semester end exams start. Call these thoughts, or just call it a rant. I’ve kind of started enjoying hearing people rant, so I feel like sharing the pleasure with all of you creatures ferociously scanning your WordPress readers for new pieces of writing. I personally think these little pieces that I write are like jigsaw puzzles of my thoughts, with its pieces scattered everywhere. Its only up to you make something of it.
So as I ignore the fog in my spectacles and refuse to get up and add more sugar to my coffee, here goes me struggling to organize my sporadic outflux of thoughts.
Mood : There are times when you know you’re in a particular mood, and you know exactly what to do about it – whether its stuffing your stomach with food till your esophagus comes to life just to tell you to stop, or listening to sickeningly sappy music so you can forcefully cry yourself to sleep, or overdosing on nicotine and whiskey till you forget that you ever had something behind your cranium, or simply calling up an old friend because you miss a little laughter. Then, there are times when you just can’t decide what mood you’re in. I find solace in thinking this is a mood in itself, and I doubt there is a word that has been coined for it. However, if any of you find yourself stuck in this pit like me, and want the perfect music to go along with it, I somehow ended up resorting to The Social Network Soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. It’s mellow, melancholy, and pensive, and develops electronic glitches midway, kind of like my brain seems to be doing with my thoughts right now.
Goodbyes : I had to say goodbye to a friend today. I was never really close to him, and have a few memories worth treasuring, but I really felt rather thick-skinned about it today. Never really felt sad about it, not for a split second. I saw others dip themselves knee-deep into a pool of moroseness, and all I cared about was what I could possibly eat for dinner. I’m comfortable blaming it on the fact that I’ve moved around a lot ever since I was born, and haven’t really stuck to a cloud of people I’d like to call friends for more than two years. So I have never really truly been able to attach myself to someone, and am quite used to the whole goodbye process. After saying all this, I still feel something, or rather someone, hiding in a little dark corner of my heart, constantly nudging me to join it for one last swim in the pool.
Responsibilities : It makes me extremely uncomfortable how responsibilities never come in priority, even when I’m writing. No matter how uncomfortable I get with this, I’m never able to get my priorities straight. Shaving my pubic hair seems to be of higher priority than passing an exam. With every second of procrastination that passes by, I feel a constant knock on my head, and honestly it feels no different from a nagging mother. By the time I decide to get down to it, the constant knocking has already given me a headache.
“The problem is, we think we have time.“
I thought I’d end this on a happy note, and end it with talking about cleaning up my spectacles because it sounds cool. Well, I think I feel like ending this on a rather abrupt note. I have also decided that I’m not going to proof-read any of this. My spectacles? I think I’m going to have someone sit on them.
Now playing : Trespassers William – “Alone”
Belligerent Conscience 